First, I would like to say that not all behaviors are bullying behaviors. If someone accidentally bumps your child in the hallway it’s not necessarily bullying. Even if someone was to push your child on purpose it still might not be bullying. Bullying is a pattern of behaviors that is meant to intimidate another over a period of time. If the pattern is not there, then it can be argued that the bullying isn’t there either.
So, what do we tell our kids about kids bullying other kids? Well, I think seeing school violence on our television sets has shown us that we can no longer say that it’s just boys being boys. We have to move away from the old permissive laissez-faire attitude and head in a new direction that consists of good leadership. We have to help our children become better leaders. Hey, the bottom line is that good leaders don’t bully others. And good leaders help those who can’t help themselves.
In addition, we shouldn’t vilify the bully. When it comes to bullying, everyone is a victim. The person being bullied is obviously a victim. The bystanders to the bullying are victims too as they stand there feeling helpless when they are really not. And believe it or not, the bully is also a victim. He or she is lashing out for a reason. The bully is usually someone who is in pain. So, let’s not vilify the bully, but rather let’s teach better leadership and decision-making to all of our kids so they’ll know how to firmly stand their ground without using violence, how to band together because there is strength in numbers, and how and where to go for help if they need to.
Now, as my Granddaddy always said, “Go learn, lead, and lay the way to a better world for all of us. Remember to be that role model parent for your children who teach them the essentials of bullying through kindness and leadership. And once again parents, thanks in advance for all that you do, and all that you will do…